We have really been going through it. In the beginning of March, we lost our little friend Loden who was only 14 months old. His parents were in our homebirth group, and their oldest son Sage is Keana’s best friend. It has been extremely sad and we’ve been doing our best to support them while dealing with our own grief. They also live on our street so while they have a ton of support, I hope having us “right there” has been some extra comfort in their during this tough time. The memorial celebration was Saturday, April 4, at Sage’s preschool where Loden loved to play as well. There were lots of tears, but having all the kids dance—with Keana right up front in the lead with Sage- was a great celebration for the short life Loden led.

In the midst of this, life goes on. Keana’s fourth birthday was sort of a last-minute small affair. Iana was in town for work, so Jennie drove out from Fresno and we had a small celebration. She was very excited about getting Mulan and Pocahontas dolls, and enjoyed a little treasure hunt, complete with map, for her tinker toys, sand toys, and magn-a-sketch tablet. Given the circumstances I think things came together really well.

And, of course, we’re packing and preparing to move to Fresno. Sarah has been amazing and we’ve started to convert the garage into a staging area for the big event. I’d say we have about 30 boxes/crates packed so far, 29 of them done by Sarah. Oh, and on top of this, my best friend Neel is getting married May 3 in Massachusetts, and his bachelor party is this weekend. I think a bulleted list will best describe the crazy timeline:

• April 8: Grandma Jennie comes from Fresno, on the train, to help Sarah pack
• April 9-12: I’m in the Valley of Fire and Vegas for Neel’s bachelor (camping) party
• April 10-13: Sarah, Keana, Maia, and Grandma Jennie drive to Fresno for Easter celebrations. (Sarah and the girls will drive back with Iana on that Monday).
• April 15: My last day in the Berkeley office
• April 16-17: We pack it all up (at least what’s left)
• April 18: Load up the truck and drive to The Fres and probably unload
• May 1-4: I head to the MA for Neel’s three-day wedding extravaganza. Yes, we were totally bummed that we couldn’t afford for all of us to, but Neel will be doing a West Coast wedding thing that all of Team Hokama will attend in full cuteness.

I’m not sure how much is sinking in for Keana and Maia at this point, but Keana did say today, “I don’t want to move to Fresno! I want to stay in my house forever!” So I think though everything has been really positive until this point, it’s just a reminder that this will be a big move, running the full gamut of emotions.

As we pull ourselves out of sadness and mourning the loss of Loden, we are looking forward to the exciting times ahead. Yes, it will be tough and I think it’s about to really sink in, but we still feel this move is the perfect choice for our family right now, and look forward to the new adventures and possibilities this move will bring us. Life is pretty wild right now, but I’ll do my best to bring the highlights.