There’s nothing like the beginning of school to push some of your parenting buttons and pull many of your heartstrings. We started school here in Fresno yesterday with mixed results.
Yesterday, the first day, was actually pretty magical. Keana started third grade without a hitch—which we kind of expected—and Maia had a great first day in kindergarten. She had no problem separating from Sarah and we waved goodbye and blew kisses as she marched off. As she entered her classroom, I think both Sarah and I exhaled with relief. And when she came home, she was beaming: she loved her teacher, made new friends, and at one point in the evening exclaimed, “I can’t wait to go back tomorrow!” She also started a new ballet class last night and loved that too.
Then there was today. Maia woke up and said she didn’t want to go. We just listened and continued getting ready, gently pushing her through the morning routine. She never seemed upset and got to school without much event. I walked Keana to her class, gave her a hug, and headed back to say goodbye to Maia. As she emerged from the cafeteria where they line up, I could see her sad, distraught face tensed up with tears as she clung to Sarah’s leg. Sarah gently pried her off and the principal who was greeting the classes, stepped in and took her hand. Maia pulled it together and never looked back, but we could see she was still upset.
You always hope it won’t be your kid crying in line at school drop-off but sometimes it is. It’s a big adjustment to enter kindergarten and it’s tough, and Sarah and I know it’s not a reflection on our parenting or Maia as a person. That being said, it’s just never easy to handle. Maia came home in a pretty good mood and had several positive things to say, so it sounded like she worked it out. No, she doesn’t want to go back tomorrow, but she is a little excited that it’s her teacher’s birthday tomorrow. She made a little gift for her (a beaded necklace filled with orange, her teacher’s favorite color), so that’s something. One day at a time.
Keana’s an old pro by now, but I can see she’s struggling a little too. Waking up early used to be nothing to her, but now she actually says she doesn’t like it. She still gets out of bed after one call though, and gets right to work getting ready. She was worried that adding Maia to our morning crew would slow us down, but we’re getting up earlier and Sarah’s getting up with us now too, which is a huge help. The whole team heads out to school drop-off now, but I’m not sure we’ll all go for the whole year…we’ll see. Keana started ballet today too and enjoyed her first day back, so it looks like ballet is still a good fit. She also asked about doing a sleepover at a friend’s house for the first time tonight, so it looks like our eldest is going to be branching out into new territory this year, which is exciting—and a little scary.
And Aliya. What about Aliya?! She seemed to have a blast yesterday on her own, at home, free to play with whatever toys she wanted and the sole focus of our attentions. Today was tough for her though. I think she was tired but also working on adjusting too. Even though she’s not doing the same things as her sisters, we know it’s a big change for her too. Plus we’ve had to wake her up from peaceful slumber to take her sisters to school, so she’s getting a little less sleep than usual.
The one thing I always try and remember during the beginning of school, and any time there’s a big change, is that it’s temporary. That’s something my mom used to always say and it’s been a helpful reminder in my own parenting. In any given moment it can look like the world’s falling apart, but that never lasts and it never really is (falling apart). I’ve also been better about not having expectations about how things will go or how the kids should react. Letting go of that fear has really taken the tension down a notch. Breathing helps too—lots of breathing…and taking breaks…definitely need little breaks throughout the day to breathe and mellow out. Sarah and I try to be as gentle with the kids as we can during these transitions, and remembering to treat ourselves and each other the same way has been a life-saver.