Tag Archives: sleep

development

Sometimes it ain’t easy

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Note: This is a little bit of a rant, so for those of you who just want the feel-good stuff about parenting, skip to the last paragraph.

I feel like we go on a roller coaster of frustrations. The majority of these moments of frustration don’t stem from new issues, but issues we deal with day in and day out. That makes sense of course, because most of us learn through repetition, so when one of our darling children is working something out, we experience it over and over again. One of the most difficult things we’ve been dealing with Keana on is possession. Since she’s been on the planet longer, she has more toys than Maia. To be fair, I think if we added up all instances of “toy interaction” with Keana and Maia, on the whole, Keana would be considered a phenomenal sharer. However, it seems like every day, there’s some sort of altercation—or on the worst days, many—where Keana rips a toy out of Maia’s hand because she wants it. Or she performs what I call “mental warfare” on Maia, where she doesn’t necessarily take something outright from Maia, but she constantly pesters Maia to trade or share with her, asking her over and over if she can have it. Eventually Maia is worn down or confused by the verbal assault and ends up forfeiting her possession. This issue is especially hard for me because when I was growing up I didn’t have a lot of toys and I feel like my brother and I shared really well. Of course we were closer in age, so maybe that makes a difference? Boys vs. girls? General temperament and personality? I see so clearly how much Keana has, but it never seems to be enough and at times there is no reasoning with her. She could have every toy but one in the sandbox, and she’d want that last toy too. We definitely need to do some research on this one.

As I mentioned in my last post, there’s the sleeping issues. This last week Keana was sick and waking up more in the middle of the night with a runny nose and cough. So we put her to sleep in her room initially and let her switch to our room when we went to bed—moving her to her little mattress on the floor—as a way to provide some comfort for her while she’s sick, and therefore more sleep. Which was great, but that little change somehow triggered something that made it more difficult for her to fall asleep. She would call out and use every excuse known to four-year-old as to why she couldn’t fall asleep: “Um, I need another stuffed animal.” (when she already had about 20 on her bed), “The closet door isn’t open enough.” (we leave the light in the closet on and the door open so it’s less scary), “I need another hug and kiss.” We played sweet at first and accommodated her silly requests, chalking it up to not feeling well, but eventually had to take a stricter approach. I’ve said this before, and to new or non-parents it often seems like we’re being “mean”, but you give them an inch and they will go a mile (and then some).

Another good example of frustrating moments is bath time. First Keana doesn’t want to get in the bath, which we know is her just being “four”. Once she’s in, she and Maia often play well together. However, the time comes when things get too rough or she takes Maia’s toy or whatever, and we have to intervene. While we do our best to ask her to stop or explain why what she’s doing is a problem, she’ll make a face at us or stick her tongue out, which honestly really gets to me. We explain she has a choice to either stop the negative behavior or end bath time. She pushes and pushes and again, we try to “play nice” but the time comes when we have to be the parent and back up what we say by ending bath time for her prematurely (as we said we would if she didn’t stop). At this point we know full well there will be a tragic meltdown, but those moments seem to be really necessary lessons for her so she knows what the boundary is.

All of these things are related and like I said, I think some research might help us at least understand things better. But the bottom line is you have to be the parent and “lay down the law” which won’t always—if ever—go over well. It’s a really, really hard thing to do and it can keep you up at night wondering if you’re a saint for teaching your kids a valuable life lesson, or if you’re just a big, bad, mean old person.

You may have noticed that all these frustrations I’ve mentioned involve Keana. Maia has her moments- like when she hits or pinches you because she’s frustrated- but she’s not even two yet so she’s coasting on her cuteness for now, and hasn’t developed all the emotional complexities that Keana has.

The really interesting part of all of this—and really critical part—is that it doesn’t last. At the end of the day, usually starting with story time right before bed, the negative stuff just melts away. We have a chance to sit down with each other and just enjoy a fictional adventure accompanied by great artwork. Maia goes off with Sarah to nurse and have her bed time, and Keana snuggles into my armpit, leans against my chest, and is at complete peace with the day, me, and the story. We tuck her in, say good night, and embark on some time with each other. Mama and Papa. Sarah and Luke. Big, bad, mean old person to big, bad, mean old person. Sure the hard times and mistakes of the day still echo in our heads, but when our bed time comes, I replay all the cute, amazing things I experienced with Keana and Maia throughout the day and feel almost refreshed.

development, education

Summer’s end and new beginnings

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Summer may be over but the heat certainly isn’t here in The ‘No. Lots of 100 degree days and “lows” are 90. Ouch. But we’re surviving it. The morning is the time to make your move outside the house and it can be 80 as early as 9 a.m. (probably even earlier some days)! I’ve had a few meltdowns about it (no pun intended), and it’s hard to tell the girls we can’t play outside because our skin will melt off, but whatever. Anyway, we all know the heat is an issue, so what the hell has been going on?!

Keana started school two weeks ago (August 17) and we’ve been slowly sinking into the schedule. We’re excited to be heading to Santa Cruz this weekend to visit Peter and attend Neel and Sai’s West Coast wedding reception in Aptos. Sarah and the girls couldn’t go to the Hindu-wedding-extravaganza in Boston in May, but Team Hokama will definitely represent this weekend! We all really miss the coast and it will be good to get out of this heat and back to our old stomping grounds. After all, it is where Sarah and I met and got engaged, oh so many years ago. The only real events on the agenda: beach and good food.

Both girls have been amazingly inspiring lately, and Maia especially continues to win our hearts. Keana won our hearts in the same way in her early-early years, and now it’s Maia’s time to show off all her little developing characteristics. She’s fiercely independent and insists on doing most things by herself and on her own terms. Her temper is quick to flash, not unlike her papa’s, but is always followed by a sweet gesture of love or shyness at her ferocity, as if she didn’t know it was going to be so extreme and she’s a little afraid of it too. Mostly though, she’s the sweetest, funniest thing you ever met. Maia is really talking but still says things like “nilk” for milk, and “mo again” when she wants more of something. The cow’s milk in the fridge has taken on the term “papa nilk” since it’s the only milk I’m blessed with and it cracks me up every time. Even Keana uses the term and I must say, it catches other people off guard. I took the girls to ice cream yesterday, and of course both Keana and Maia wanted to walk on their own without holding hands, which I figured was fine on the sidewalk, and when Maia and I accidentally bumped into each other, she smiled sweetly and said, “Sorry, sorry!” as she moved on her way. Makes my heart melt.

Keana continues to be our bright, shining star. She’s been reveling in her physical abilities to run fast, flex her muscles, and move in the craziest ways. Like her mother, and maybe a little like me, she can make the funniest faces. We could spend hours just making faces at each other and laughing. She’s been very good playing with Maia lately, but the burden of having to share her toys, space, and parents with her little sister definitely comes through. It’s hard to see it happening, and Sarah and I are both second children, so I think we tend to favor Maia in most arguments. Although we are starting to see Maia’s little antagonist emerging as well, and often Maia will scream, we think, just to incriminate her sister unjustly. It’s a big balancing act and we’re trying to be fair about it all, but you can’t be all places at once and we’re definitely trying to let them work things out on their own. I remember having to do that all the time with my brother growing up. We had some serious fights, but for the most part, we were so close in age and interests that there seemed to be little conflict. I see a lot of myself in Maia though, especially when she walks up to Keana and pinches her out of the blue, just cause she has a wild hair. When Maia gets frustrated, she gets physical and I have to say Keana handles that quite well, often enduring the pain and holding back retaliation. Pretty impressive for a four-year-old I think.

Sleeping has been our issue lately (and again). Every time the schedule gets thrown—by a family trip or me being out of town or whatever—it seems like it takes at least a week to readjust. Both girls typically go to bed in their own rooms quite well, but often wake up in the middle of the night; Maia for milk (and late night parties), and Keana to pee and say she had a bad dream and misses us and wants to sleep with us. On Tuesday I just gave up and crawled into bed with her, cause who has the energy for an emotional breakdown in the middle of the night? Especially because if one of them loses it, the other wakes up and then you got double-duty. Keana can often be reasoned with, but Maia is one stubborn baby. She’s very sweet and cuddly and even whispers while patting you or kissing you, saying, “Nilk? Papa nilk? Papa up?!” We endure quietly, trying to ignore her until it goes too far and Sarah ends up putting her back in her room and closing the door to let her cry it out. There’s no silver bullet for the sleep issues and the only thing we really know is that we all do better sleeping in our own rooms (at this point at least), and consistency is key. Don’t mess with the sleep schedule. And if you have to, then just be prepared to be patient and make sure you have some good coffee on hand for the days after the tough nights. I almost feel it’s my duty to document this appropriately for those that have yet to experience this. That way I’ll remember when the girls have their own kids and will then be able to sympathize appropriately! (And not try and offer too much advice, cause what the hell is going to work anyway?!!)

Speaking of neophytes, Iana is due in two weeks and technically could go at any time now. We’re very excited to meet the first, first cousin! Sarah is on Iana’s birth team, so I’ll be watching the girls whenever she does go into labor and then Keana, Maia, and I may drive down to Long Beach for a sneak peak right after the birth. We definitely want to give them their space and be respectful of their newly budding tripod, so we’ll just be happy with whatever introduction we get. Maia’s been asking, “Tia, baby?” lately and Keana is so sweet when she talks to Tia on the phone. A couple weeks ago she said, “Hi Tia! How are you feeling? How’s the baby?” and she asks Iana all the time, “What is the baby saying?”, trying to get a feel for how the baby might react to her, the default “Leader of the Children”. From what I understand, most people really enjoy being the oldest sibling/cousin, and I certainly think Keana won’t mind being leader of the pack one bit. Of course Maia will be a formidable lieutenant, but I’m sure they’ll just be very excited to share the younger stage with the new talent.

development

Hello bed

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I told Sarah two nights ago that I felt almost like I had been away at war and I was finally home in my own bed. We had been sharing our bed with Maia, or I had been sleeping in another room with Keana until Tuesday, May 26, we began to sleep-train Maia. You may remember our first attempt, which we abandoned for various reasons, but now in the new place, it was time. Sarah had finally had it, spending over an hour nursing and rocking Maia to sleep every night, half the time without success. With Maia’s refusal to stay asleep, we didn’t know what else to do except let her walk around and be ridiculously cute, until she finally got so tired and said, “Night-night”, at which point she’d generally nurse to sleep with ease. The downside of that was that Sarah really didn’t feel she had any time for herself, was very frustrated, and because Maia would go to sleep so late, she’d sleep in the next morning, throwing the whole next day off.

So Sarah set up the girls room—which they’ll eventually share—and when the going-to-bed ritual was finished, we said good night to Maia, closed the door, and walked away. Of course Maia screamed bloody hell, but only for about 20 minutes before falling asleep, on her own. She woke again around 10 p.m., fussed a little, then fell back asleep. During this training process (a week maybe?), Keana is sleeping at the foot of our bed on a sheepskin/”camping” bed, just so she doesn’t have to deal with Maia crying things out, but she’ll be in her own bed, in her own room pretty soon. Anyway, when I laid down that night, in my own bed, I realized I had been away for too long. Sarah and I hadn’t slept in our own bed together, just the two of us, since Maia was born. It wasn’t exactly glorious, because we were worrying about Maia, it was hot as hell, we were getting used to the new set-up ourselves, and I think our minds were spinning with what this really meant. After all, self-soothing and sleeping on your own is really a big step in life when you think about it. So I think both our minds were spinning with the fact that Maia was really growing up and getting one more notch in her independence belt. There’s so many great things about it that it’s hard to be sad, but still, letting go of your kids like that is definitely one of the most difficult things as a parent, and we know this is still in the “just beginning” phase.

At 1:20 a.m. that first night, Maia woke up and cried and cried until about 2 a.m., when Sarah finally went in to check on her. She was so sad she over-nursed and eventually threw up, so Sarah finished out the night with her. But we stuck to the routine last night, letting Maia cry herself to sleep, which only took 10 minutes! And on just the second night, she slept all the way through the night, a lone little soldier, until around 6 a.m. A proud moment for crazy little Maia and a great step toward getting settled in the 559.

development

Playing in the rain (and other news)

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It’s been a pretty busy weekend I’d say, though we rarely have one that isn’t. But as you’ll see, as this entry unfolds, there’s been more than usual lately. Maia and Sarah slept in until almost 10 a.m. mainly because Maia was up for a while somewhere around 4:30 a.m. But today we played in the rain and upon seeing Keana and I stomping in puddles, Maia really wanted a piece of the action. She eventually was content to just walk around and sit near a shallow puddle. She also enjoyed licking the umbrella. We became too wet and cold after a short while and headed back inside.

For good portions throughout the day, Keana entertained herself with dressing up and playing out imaginary scenarios with her toys, often singing the narration. At one point Sarah and Keana were playing a type of follow the leader game, flying, dancing, jumping, and wiggling all over the house while Keana screamed, “C’mon Papa, we’re entertaining Maia!”. Naps were basically a wash today which means we had more time to do some chores and Sarah made a great pork loin with chard, squash, and yams on the side.

Yesterday we sold a desk which we had posted on craigslist and then headed out Albany Point (or something) near where we live. We had never been there before and it was definitely interesting. Basically, it’s a landfill that’s closed down and overgrown with vegetation and it has road/trails that have a great view of the bay and San Francisco. There were a ton of dogs and I got the feeling that it was a little too janky for it to be a kid hang-out, so it has become a dog hang out. There’s sort of an “artist” community that’s claimed it, I think, with evidence of various domiciles in the bushes. small altars/art pieces scattered about, and a pretty large graffiti palace. I think it was safe in the daylight though, and we ran into a family that I know through work, so at least we weren’t the only ones with kids. We stopped by the shore and had a snack on a pile of concrete but had to watch out for the snaking re-barb that was poking out. Sounds crazy but it was actually fun and good to get out before this big storm hit.

So, you may have said earlier, “Huh, they’re selling stuff, why?” Well, we’re moving to Fresno, or as we like to say now, FresYes! The squeeze of the bay area has finally squeezed us out and since all of Sarah’s family and many of her friends or all located in one area- Fresno- it just made sense. Not to mention Grandma Bev runs a fairly prestigious preschool which Sarah attended and now our girls will have the chance to attend, so we feel very fortunate for that. It’s going to be a culture shock for me, I’m sure, but we’re excited about the possibilities this affords us and are looking forward to actually being able to get ahead financially. A big bonus too was that my employer, NWP, is allowing me to keep my job and work from a home office in FresYes. For that, I am exceptionally grateful, especially with this sad economy. I’ll be coming back to Berkeley about once a month for meetings and checking in, so I’m looking forward to staying connected to the area in that way.

All this excitement has really been keeping us busy, and we’ve sort of put Maia’s “sleep training” on hold. We did, however, set up Hotel Hokama downstairs. We moved the twin bed out of Keana’s room, so we put Maia to sleep upstairs as I get Keana ready for bed, Keana goes to sleep in her room, and when I head down for the night I bring Keana with me and I sleep with her and Sarah sleeps with Maia. It’s a little crazy, but it works. This way there’s no kids waking up in the middle of the screaming for one of us and we mostly all get a decent night’s sleep. Don’t worry though, it won’t always be like this. We shall reclaim our adult sleeping quarters, probably when we move and have a house that’s not split up funny and creepy like this one.

Damn, I guess that’s the last couple weeks since my last entry (in a nutshell). I’ll try and keep up more, especially in this exciting time of transition and with Keana’s birthday right around the corner!

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One of those hard times in parenting

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Maia’s sleep habits have not been working. She’s been having trouble nursing to sleep on some nights, and even when she does go to sleep, she often wakes up around eleven, wide awake, ready to party. Something had to change, and because Sarah’s been the parent of choice for Maia, she especially was ready to try something new. So two nights ago we tried letting her cry it out, as we did with Keana, but it was a failed attempt. We knew in order for it to work we had to stick to our guns, but we broke down and “saved” her. The rest of the night was one of Maia’s worst, mostly because I feel she thought Sarah was going to leave her.

Last night we talked about what we did wrong the previous night and re-calibrated for the new round…

  • 7:30: Sarah records a lullaby on the laptop to be played in a loop to reassure Maia in her times of need.
  • 8:13: We put Maia in her crib, I turn on the recording, set the laptop to shut down in three hours, and we wish Maia sweet dreams.
  • 8:14: Maia is already crying her little heart out.
  • 8:42: Maia’s cries die out quite a bit, with only periodic, long, sad howls interspersed.
  • 8:52: The crying picks back up.
  • 9:01: Cries start to die down again and I’m hopeful this is it as Sarah’s faint recorded voice can be heard in the breaks.
  • 9:25: Poor little Maia is really putting this to the test. I’d say she’s as headstrong as her papa.
  • 9:37: Silence. Finally.

She woke up again at 2 a.m. but went back to sleep fairly quickly, on her own. Then woke again at 4:45 a.m. ready for milk, but again, went back to sleep after her little snack. Then we all woke up (again) at 7:30 a.m.

Have we done the right thing? Only time will tell. We take some comfort in the fact that we did this with Keana and she sleeps well now, but man, these are the hard things you do as a parent that you can never prepare for, even the second time around. Of course today Maia developed a cold and it doesn’t seem right to keep the “training” going while she’s so sick, so we’ll pick this back up when she’s better. Man oh man…this parenting gig is tough.

development

Hello? Maia?

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“Maia’s sure growin’ and growin’!” exclaims Keana, and indeed she’s right.

The Communication Front
Maia’s always been our little squealer, often producing the loudest, highest, sustained pitches you’ve ever heard. After a few months she augmented that squeal with a low growl, often growling when she’s found something interesting to her. Not long after that she began saying, “Ma-ma, Ma-ma,” these first words confirming what we already knew; this is a mama’s girl. Then in August she began saying, ” Dada” when I appeared. Around the same time Maia also began waving at “good bye” and “hello”, sometimes with both hands. She also started shaking her head, showing a definitive “no” where appropriate. And just two weeks ago she began pointing to where she wanted to go or at what she wanted. Finally, just last week, Maia started mimicking talking on the telephone by picking something up—a spoon, a bear, her hand- producing a huge smile, and sometimes saying, “Hiiii.” Absolutely adorable.

The Movement Front
As just about everyone knows now, Maia started crawling at the end of August, and instead of just moving fast after Miko (the cat), now she moves fast to follow her sister or one of us around the house. She’s a master of the two carpeted steps we have downstairs and has even attempted the full case of wood stairs that goes between levels (not quite up for those yet). She also pulls herself up to a standing position on anything raised off the floor quite easily, and even practices going up and down, up and down. When she’s excited or listens to music she sits on her butt and waves both arms up and downs, sometimes with such force she pulls both her legs off the floor. Two weeks ago she started walking with assistance and it’s really fun to let her lead the way to whatever interests her. She also uses this new-found technique to kick balls around the house like a little soccer player. And to round things out, Maia loves to bounce. She loves to get up on the bed with her sister and jump, jump, jump. She can stand in the crib herself and do this, but on the bed really goes for it when one of us holds her under her armpits.

The Eating Front
So far, Maia really only likes yogurt, black beans, avocado, cheddar cheese, kamut puffs, zucchini, and tofu. She’s still nursing quite a bit and loves sharing sips out of water glasses. No bottle for this one either and since Keana stole her sippy cup, she’s gone straight to glass.

The Sleeping Front
This one’s been tough lately, but for the last couple months she’s gone to sleep pretty easily in our bed when Keana goes to bed around 7:30 p.m. Sarah would take her downstairs, lay with her and nurse her, and she’d drop off to sleep, waking up occasionally until we got down there, then sleep through the night. For the last three weeks though Sarah’s had to rock her to sleep for quite some time, then lay her down, which has been wearing on Sarah. I tried to help out once and I was greeted with a shaking head, signaling “no, no”, and so much crying that she actually threw up. Needless to say, she does not like her papa rocking her to sleep. Nap times are tough too because she really needs Sarah’s undivided attention to sleep, but with Keana running around and thirsting for attention herself, Maia doesn’t always get to sleep. So, as it seems to be with most kids, sleeping and getting enough is an issue, but for the most part we have been pretty spoiled with Maia.

So I think that’s pretty much the latest and greatest of the one called Maia (a.k.a Deedles a.k.a. Maimi a.k.a. Mimi Maimi a.k.a Snuggy Dugs).

development

Sass Monkey

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Little Miss Keana is quite the sass-monkey. It’s not that she’s rude or disobedient, but the girl’s got some fire. The phrase “if you give them an inch, they’ll go a mile” was created for Keana. We are far from a militant household, but we have to run a pretty tight ship to keep things from spinning out of control.

Bedtime has been a big one on and off in Keana’s life, and it’s really interesting to see how her little ways have carried from infancy until now. For instance when she was 8 months old she would play with my lower lip while I rocked her to sleep, trying to distract me from the task at hand. The three-year-old version of that is saying things like, “I’m hungry!” even though she just ate, or (my favorite) “My eyebrows hurt!” Just about anything to delay sleep-time. Another interesting thing is I think she really got used to us all sleeping in the same space while camping, and she really liked it. So when we got home from the campout this year, sleeping alone in her room just wasn’t appealing. She would say, “Can I sleep with you guys” or “Can you just sleep on the floor next to me?” At first I would just lay next to her until she was almost asleep, but that evolved into waking up in the middle of the night, every night, to make this request. We finally got that one locked down and now we’re dealing with getting her to stay in her bed…ah the joys of running a happy dictatorship (i.e. parenting).

After saying all that though, Keana really is a complete angel and we still consider ourselves very fortunate to have such a smart, sensitive, and hilarious first born!

development

Debriefing with Maia at 3 a.m.

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Last night/this morning at 3:30 a.m. Maia was wide awake. I heard Sarah say, “It’s time for sleep Maia!” as she pushed Maia over to my side of the bed. “She’s been awake for hours!” Sarah said and she rolled over and covered herself up signaling the passing of the “put-the- kid-to-sleep”. I sat there for a moment hoping that Sarah was exaggerating and that Maia would just drift off to sleep once she felt the warmth of her papa’s arm…right, fat chance. She was wiggling. She was arching her back. She was groaning, squealing, and talking. She was wide awake indeed.

I got out of bed and began to gently rock her and she quieted right down. After about five minutes she began arching her back and fussing for Mama. I figured it had been just enough time to remind her of what she was missing out on, and put her back in bed, next to Sarah to nurse, which she did, and then she started to drift off to sleep. “Hey, that was pretty easy!” I thought to myself and began to doze off.

Five minutes later I felt Sarah slide Maia back over to my side. First attempt failed—round two. I immediately got up, began rocking and singing softly, “Go to sleep little Maia…” and again, Maia quieted right down. And again, five minutes later, began fussing and arching her back. Sarah suggested I turn on the bathroom light—because Maia likes to be able to see what’s going on—and get the sling. So I turned on the light and Maia sneezed—as she always does when the light goes on at night; funny huh?—and I got the sling and put Maia inside. She was definitely more at peace and she began to groan/mumble. On and on she went. Then she put her wrist up to her mouth and continued on, now making a buzzing sound with her saliva against her wrist. I stayed quiet and just listened and rocked as Maia continued to make these noises which were getting softer and softer. At that moment it struck me, maybe she just needed to get the day off her little chest? She was asleep when I got home from teaching at 10 p.m., and she hadn’t seen me in 15 hours, so maybe she just needed to tell me about her day in a groany, buzzy, sleepy-baby kind of way? She did this for about 10 minutes and konked out. It reminded me that even little babies that can’t “talk” need to just be listened to sometimes.

I set her back in bed and laid down myself. Ah, success. Thirty seconds had passed and then the friggin cat walks in and starts clawing at my side of the bed and then threatens to knock things off the dresser if I don’t give him some lovin’. What can I say? Maybe the kids just really missed me yesterday? I grabbed my pillow and headed out to the living room floor so Miko wouldn’t wake Maia up. In an hour-and-half Keana would up and I had to get some sleep. Before I knew it the sun was up, Keana was calling, and there was a fur ball curled up by feet. As I shook off the stiff neck/back/shoulders I thought, “Man! That was rough. Good morning Wednesday, guess we better get this thing rolling.”

development

The liberation of Zooba and the war cries of Deedles

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Mark the day, April 21, 2008, Zooba was liberated. By Zooba I mean Keana, and by liberated I mean the railing of her crib was removed—again. We tried taking the rail off months ago, but it was really too soon. Keana actually requested we put the railing back on the first time we tried it, so we did- waiting for just the right day, just the right time for total liberation. With the advent of full potty trainage in March, the time seemed right. So Monday night (4/21/08) Keana and I got out the toolbox, got out our screwdrivers, and tore down the proverbial wall of oppression. I almost heard faint echos of David Hasselhoff floating through time and space from 1989 Berlin.

It’s been almost a week and everything is going great with the new-found freedom and responsibility. Keana even gets up and pees on her own in the middle of the night, though she still calls me down in the wee ours of the morning for a social visit disguised as some bathroom-related need, but we’re working through that.

Then there are the piercing screams that now fill our home and our ear canals. Sometimes long but usually short, they are startlingly loud and high pitched, especially when you realize they’re coming from Maia (a.k.a. Deedles). Maia is definitely figuring out her voice and communicating. It’s gone in several phases, first, in early April she would make these gasping sounds that really worried us at first. We still aren’t 100% sure if they were allergy related or what, but my thought is that it was just a new noise she discovered she could make. Second came the lip buzzing coupled with spit-bubble blowing. If you responded in like fashion she’d flash a huge grin. Now what’s happening are the war cries. Very loud and very funny. Deedles is definitely not going to let Keana run the whole verbal show. It is so amazing seeing these beginnings of verbal communication develop. In conjunction with this, we’ve also seen Maia really start to reach for things she wants, and of course put them in her mouth for further exploration. The girl loves to stand as well, and even though we still support her as she learns to stand, we can feel her lunge and actually take steps toward a desired object. She also loves to jump up and down and then look at you with this excited look-what-I-can-do grin. Maia is definitely on track to be another amazingly mobile and communicative member of Team Hokama.

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Silly baby

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One thing I don’t get about babies is this: if they eat when they’re hungry, and they poo or pee whenever the hell they have to, then why don’t they sleep when they’re tired?! Maia has been a great little sleeper in general—and I remember thinking this with Keana—but when she gets “over tired”, she refuses to go to sleep peacefully. She’ll fuss and scream and cry, all the while barely being able to hold her head up or keep her eyes open. And of course she’s only content in Sarah’s arms when she gets to this point. And by this point, usually, Sarah’s been dealing with her all day and needs a break.

It’s tricky too because what worked one day sometimes won’t work the next. That’s where the frustration comes in. One night you’re able to gently rock her to sleep to a little background noise, and the next you’re practically jumping up and down singing some song over and over and over (the latter being okay if you like the song and you’re down with an aerobic workout at 9, 10, 11 o’clock at night).

Last night was one such night. After trying and trying, Sarah finally passed Maia off to me. I tried gently bouncing her on the ball with the TV as background noise and she wasn’t having it. So I took her in the bedroom, turned off the main light and turned on the bathroom light, and went to work. (Maia prefers a little bit of light when falling asleep.) I sang, “Go to Sleep Little Baby…” over and over and over while smoothly springing up and down, back and forth. I did this till my thighs burned, sweat poured, and I was almost too out of breath to sing anymore. From time to time I glanced down and saw her fighting to stay awake, but she finally gave way to the great sleeping machine called Papa. She was so beautiful and peaceful sleeping in my arms, which I enjoyed for a minute before sweat got in my eyes and I realized my back and arms were killing me. It may be hell getting the little ones to sleep at times, but when you see them with eyes closed and their little minds drifting out of this world, it really makes it all worth it (…but babies are still silly).