One thing I’ve been struggling with lately—and on and off for years really—is the fact that many-a-time, no matter what we do, what we eat, where we go…it will never be enough for the kiddos. I realize that it may be that our children are such selfish ingrates; budding ugly, greedy Americans; actually deprived and neglected; or just exhibiting natural behavior, but still, no matter what I call it or how I justify it, it drives me nuts.

Some examples from this weekend:

• I make homemade buttermilk pancakes and bacon but they really want waffles even after agreeing to pancakes.
• I wrestle with them for over an hour(!) and they whine for 10 minutes after we stop about it not being enough.
• We go to the park, as promised, but are met with gripes when it’s time to leave for lunch.
• And of course, before bed, there’s just never enough story time (which I’m kind of okay with because…it has to do with books I guess).

I’ve tried just about every approach to dealing with situations like these:

• Actually trying to do more of whatever they want: like wrestling for over an hour instead of just 20 minutes.
• Compromising but still setting a firm boundary: this means making some compromises like making waffles one day and pancakes the other, but not both. Or adding 5 more minutes of story time but actually stopping at 5.
• Acknowledging their disappointment and simply listening, then setting a boundary if necessary: it’s okay to be disappointed but after a certain amount of crying or screaming they have to go to their room and do it.
• Flat out saying “no, deal with it” and walking away

Of course it’s not always like this, those dear sweet children don’t always want more, but it happens enough that I find myself getting worn down. There are times I want to crawl in a hole and do nothing since they’ll be complaining either way; might as well save the resources and effort and disappointment. I know that’s not the solution so I’m left with trying to be consistent with an approach, hunker down, and hope they get the hang of gratitude and being thankful for what they get, when they get it, and moving on. I also acknowledge that how I feel about it has a lot to do with what my own expectations are and it’s important for me to be aware of that.

It’s a struggle because I don’t want to “train” them to be docile or have them not ask for what they need or want, yet I think it’s important they appreciate what they have and focus on the positive even if they are disappointed. I do have faith that as they get older they’ll be able to understand and navigate this issue better as well. Just another example of fine lines to be navigated in this whole parenting thing.