Photos from December 2013
Tag Archives: vacation
Adjusting to Down Time
I thought we’d get some time to relax after Christmas…and we have…sort of. We’ve had some time to play games together and the girls have really been enjoying all their Christmas gifts—oh, and today we built and decorated a birdhouse that’s been on the shelf since summer—but it’s been kind of stressful for me (and of course when I’m stressed out, it’s not all bubbles and cookies around these parts). I may not have had reasonable expectations as to how much time I’d need to recover from Christmas and visiting with family.
The biggest thing I’ve been struggling with is that it seems that nearly every activity includes some amount of complaining, fighting, disappointment, and/or crying. Soooo, maybe I’m not the only one that needs a recovery period. We sort of tumbled into Christmas break—recovering from being sick, finishing the crazy Nutcracker week, me back from a work trip—into a trip to Sacramento to visit my family and time around here with Sarah’s family. Now we’re floating in non-structured time on a sea of expectations.
It’s hard not to have expectations about what vacation should be: it should be fun, we should have lots of time together, we should enjoy said time together, we should get to sleep in, we should get out town, we should all be more relaxed and rested, and on and on and on. The reality is…something not quite like that…and I’m struggling with accepting this. Yes, there is some fun and maybe a little more down time. Maybe we can get out of town to the mountains for a day, but we really can’t afford to go away for a night or three. I miss the beach, a lot, but maybe that’s not in the cards. Air quality is shitty right now so there are actually large chunks of the day where we need stay inside.
Basically, this is life and I need to get over it—we all do. Tomorrow morning we’ll have a little family powwow and see if can regroup and figure out how to make the rest of this break a little more fun and relaxing for everyone. And I’m going to take an acceptance pill tonight and have a better day tomorrow.
Limekiln 2013, Day Five: Pack it Up and Move it Out
Wow. We’re back in Fresno. What a day. It’s always a little weird waking up in one place and going to sleep in another, even if it is home.
Yesterday we did make it up to the kilns with our extra hiker, Luna, and she and Keana continued where they left off on our hike to the falls, singing made-up songs together and making plans for staying in touch once we all went our separate ways. Maia really was pretty much done, so I carried her on my back in the Ergo. Good exercise for me and I was even fine in my Vibram five-fingers.
After the hike, Luna’s parents welcomed us with fresh cod sautéed in lemon and butter and then we all headed down to the beach, with Anya in tow as well. And it was a perfect beach day. We played, talked, got some sun, and even saw a seal just barely off the shore. It was pretty spectacular.
After the beach, both Aliya and Maia were very tired and upset (i.e. tired out), and Keana was rearing to go to Luna’s camp as soon as she could. Aliya eventually crashed on my shoulder while Sarah navigated Maia’s needs through dinner. Then Maia and Keana headed off into the forest for a “parting ways banana s’mores party” at Luna’s camp. We decided to wake Aliya from her late nap so we could all go, and we were really glad we did. We all had fun making bananas filled with marshmallows and chocolate chips, then roasted them in the fire. The kids played and roasted marshmallows while we visited some more with Ayan, Liza, their friend Liz, and Cindy (Anya’s mom). They were very gracious hosts and we left feeling very fortunate to have found such friendly, kind, open, and like-minded people while camping.
Maia would not be parted from me for bed time, so she and I stayed out and closed camp for the night, which was pretty cool because then she got to see more stars since it was way after 9 by the time we were winding down.
Today the kids woke up mostly with a sense if excitement for heading home, but Keana, especially, was sad to leave the friends she had made. Maia was the most ready to get back to civilization and all our creature comforts, which made her the most helpful packing up as well. Keana got one last visit with Luna, and Aliya just played in and out of the car while continually asking for Mentos. Overall, Aliya really had an excellent attitude the entire trip, and was the most easy-going of the three, even though she’s just barely three.
We got packed and on the road by 10:30ish, had breakfast at the Whale Watcher Cafe in Gorda, then continued our journey back to super-hot Fresno. The heat basically sucks, but the one good thing is all our equipment dried out in two seconds.
I’m not going to lie, it was not an easy trip. But sickness and meltdowns aside, we thoroughly enjoyed being at the beach and in the redwoods, recharging in many ways apart from normal life. Having time together as a family without the interruptions of the every day is so important, and connecting with new, like-minded people that were easy to hang out with really feeds us in another way too. As it is with the rest of our life, this vacation tested us as parents and individuals, and I wish I could say we hit home runs every time. But no one does and I feel pretty good knowing we did our best and many things were much better than last year’s camping experiences. I’m pretty sure we’re making mostly positive, unforgettable memories for the kids, and look forward to many more wilderness adventures.
Limekiln 2013, Day Four: Hikes, Beaches, and Saying Goodbye
10:58: 3% battery on this phone. Headed to Lucia for breakfast this morning, BUT NO BREAKFAST SERVED. Blargh. Got snacks and beans at the store but definitely a big disappointment. Maia seems to be doing okay, but is really just holding on I think. Keana ran into the forest camp sites to play with Luna right after breakfast and now I think we may mobilize for a little hike up to the Lime Kilns. Going to be a perfect beach day too, methinks. Hoping there’s enough battery for a recap tonight…
From Keana:
Then I went to Luna’s camp. We colored a design. Then I borrowed a sweater and a pair of pants from Luna. Then we colored by the fire. Then we went on a hike with Luna. We made up a song and saw fairies! Then we came to the kilns. Then we took a picture. Then me and Luna went on the trail. We talked about what we could play and what Luna was having for lunch.
Then we had lunch with Luna. We had cod for lunch. Then I borrowed Luna’s camelback. We played scuba divers and there were sharks chasing us! Ania joined us and we went to the beach. We had a snack and then we got on top of a BIG rock. It splashed Ania and Luna. Then I went the bathroom. Then we warmed up and went on the big rock again. Then we played in the waves and saw a seal. We named it Sammelcece (Sam-ul-see-see). Luna held on to me when a big wave came. We both got very wet.
Then we went back to the blanket. Luna’s mom gave me a persimmon and I guess it was a persimmon! Then we played camels on the sand. Then we played camels in the water. Then before we knew it it was dinner time. I had tacos and Orangina for dinner. Then I went to Luna’s camp where I found Luna and Ania relaxing by the fire. Then I came and sat down with them. Then we carried Xavie like he was the king. Then Luna’s mom put Xavi in the tent. Then we played Queen. Luna was first, I was second, and Ania was third. Then we saw Xavie escaping from the tent! Then we played horsey and Xavie bit me very hard on the back. Then we made banana boats. While we waited we roasted marshmallows. I caught Luna’s and my marshmallow on fire! I got the burnt ones and Luna got the not burnt ones. Then I tried the banana boat and didn’t like it. Then I went in the tent and told stories. Then Luna walked me back to my camp site. I undressed and went to sleep.
Limekiln 2013, Day Three: Making Friends
Well, yesterday ran away and I didn’t get back to write (obviously). Maia was still feeling pretty sick, so she watched a movie on the Kindle in the tent, Aliya and Sarah napped, and Keana and I had a nice little hike exploring the forest and Hare Creek. We spent most of the rest of the day on the beach yesterday since the weather was absolutely perfect. We also made some friends, too! First we met Ayan, Liza, their daughter Luna (7) and son Xavi (2), as well as their friend Liz. And of course Luna and the girls hit it off instantly and were off to play amongst the waves, rocks, and seaweed before they even knew each other’s names. Then another little girl slowly gravitated across the beach towards them as they ran from waves, and slowly folded into the pack. Her name was Anya (10) and we met her dad Chris (an engineer/contractor) and her mom, Cindy, who happened to be a teacher who went through the San Diego Area Writing Project summer institute last summer. Quite a small world indeed. So the kids played and the adults visited throughout the day.
I think one of the highlights was when the girls had collected seaweed for about an hour then decided to make dresses out if it. Luna took the roll of designer, though they all seemed to have a vision. Keana was eager to be the first model and immediately Aliya wanted in on the action. So as the older girls dressed each other, Sarah tended to Aliya making her a little seaweed hula skirt with a seaweed head dress. As usual the adults were all staying their distance from each other until our kids basically forced us together. But through this forced interaction we discovered cool things about the people around us. Like the Writing Project connection with Anya’s mom (Cindy) and the fact that Ayan was in the restaurant business, and happened to be a former owner/partner in the Blue Ribbon chain if restaurants in New York. They were also in the process of scoping out Northern California because they were looking into moving from Boulder to here, so we got a chance to hear about their plans and offer what little knowledge we had about Berkeley and surrounding areas.
So the kids set a plan to have a picnic together at 09:00 today and it was just about that time when Luna came down from the forest to visit. We ended up feeding her breakfast and then they were off, back to the beach. It’s tough to let them be free but also keep them fed and safe (i.e. sunscreen’d, out of poison oak, and in bed before they totally melt down). And that is how last night ended: Maia in total melt down. She eventually was able to say she wanted to go to the car, so I took her and we talked. We were able to figure out together that it’s hard camping because of all the unknown variables. When she doesn’t know what’s going to happen or *how* things are going to happen, it causes fear and having to navigate all the different variables throughout the day really wears her down. Not to mention that she was still recovering from being quite sick. I think being in the car helped her get back to a familiar, enclosed, safe place and we were able to work through some if the issues, or at least better understand them. I also reassured her that we can always go home which was comforting too, even though she really didn’t want to leave. There’s a lot of complicated things going on for Maia that she’s struggling with, but really, she’s doing a great job figuring out what it is that’s upsetting her and communicating that. Even if it happens after a melt down.
But today was good. Lots of play time with friends, they had their picnic by the river in the forest, and we took Luna on a hike to the waterfalls with us. They all had their walking sticks, sang songs along the way, and even Aliya hiked on her own. We had to do some lifting to get up and down from the waterfalls, and I was bummed that I forgot a camera. But we enjoyed dipping our feet in the pool beneath the two falls that were pouring down from 200 ft. up. On our way down from the falls, trying to find a smoother route down to the trail with Maia on my back, I climbed down small crevice formed from a large log wedged against a couple boulders. When I got down and signaled up to the others to follow, I saw a pretty large garter snake coiled up in the crack we had just traversed. Needless to say, we found another route for the others, but it was cool to be able to show the kids a real snake in the wild. Then it was back to camp, knowing that we needed to get a jump on dinner.
Part of what Maia and I agreed on the night before was trying to keep dinner and bedtime closer to normal time so she could count on something. Luna’s parents weren’t back from town so she had dinner with us and they played a little more on the beach after. There was the beginning of a meltdown as we got ready for bed, but Sarah suggested I put Maia on my back in the Ergo and that seemed to settle her down. So Maia was my backpack helper for closing up camp for the night and it was pretty cool, really. She had comfort and had someone to talk to and sing me songs. She was almost asleep by the time I was ready to head in and Keana and I have been writing since. Maia and Keana are now catching up on the facts about ticks and plans for tomorrow. Sarah’s given one annoyed “aren’t you guys done yet?” so I guess I better shut it down. Till tomorrow…maybe…
Keana’s Selection:
Then we put on real clothes and went to the secret island. We had nectarines, a chocolate bar, crackers with honey, and sandwiches. Then we payed explorer. Then we went the bathroom. Then we went to Luna’s camp. We played on the tent pole and Luna got the highest. Then we went on a hike with Luna. We made up songs on the way there. Then we climbed up to the waterfall. We saw a worm that loved the water. Then we hiked back.
When we got to the camp sites, me and Luna ran to the bathroom. We saw a huge daddy-long-leg. Then Luna came over for dinner. After dinner we went and played in the sand. We played mermaids and humans. Then we went back to camp and Luna forgot her Camelback. Then I had three more tacos.
Limekiln 2013, Day Two: Still Sick but Having Fun
9:58: Woke up this morning a little before 8 and everyone was healthy! Maia made it through the night without being sick. Quick breakfast today: cereal. Really nice having minimal prep/clean-up, buuuuut, 10 minutes after finishing, Keana says, “I’m hungry, I need a snack.” So it was really a breakfast of cereal, salami, cheese, and crackers.
After breakfast, while Sarah and I sat looking at the ocean from our “front porch,” it hit me (again) what a huge strain it is having just one sick child. Maia’s part of our team and we need her in the line-up! Aside from having to do extra care and cleaning when she’s sick, her presence amongst her sisters is really an important factor in harmony for the whole family. So while we were talking, Aliya came over and said she was tired and wanted to go in the tent. She was distracted throwing rocks for a minute, then started brushing her teeth and headed for the tent. Sarah’s in there with her now and I think she really is going back to sleep. Now to see what adventures Maia, Keana, and I can stir up…
From Keana:
Then my friend Luna came and wanted to play. We said after lunch. I had some bread and honey. Then we headed up to Luna’s camp. We climbed on rocks to the creek. Then we decided to go to the beach. We climbed back and asked if we could go to the beach. They said yes. Luna put her swim suit on. Then we went to our camp and put our swim suits on. We went down and set up our towels. Then we played sharks. Then we went to the beach. We played on the castle rock. Then we ran in the waves. Then we started to collect seaweed. Soon, a girl named Ania joined in a became my friend. As soon as we collected a whole pile we decided to do a fashion show. We dressed myself up in seaweed first. Then we dressed Ania in seaweed. Then we made a hole called a toilet.
Then we buried Lunda’s brother in sand. Then we laid down and a big wave got us and Lunda’s brother. Luna’s brother was unhurried and taken care of. Then we decided to go river climbing. When we were climbing I fell in. Then we went back and played in the ocean for a while. Then we decided to rinse off in a secret pool. Then Ania and her mom went back to camp and Luna came with me to my site. She went to her camp site to get ready. Then I took a shower. Then I sat on a rock and waited. Then I made quarter stacks and had a snack. Soon later Luna and Ania came. We carried Maia up by making a chair with our arms. Then Luna had to go so me, Maia, and Ania went to camp site 17 to explore. On the way we saw a snake. Then we planned a surprise picnic for Luna.
No More Rain Delays
When you’re married with small kids it’s easy to forget about each other. Maybe “forget” isn’t quite the right word—it’s more like postpone. It’s not usually intentional…like an outdoor concert that gets rained out. The kids are so adorable or needy or upset, or there’s a school thing or this appointment then practice then work. Before you know it, the whole day has gone by and you’ve barely made eye contact or given a hug to the person you started this whole thing with. The years pass and you have more kids and more life happens, those days turn into weeks and months and that concert that got rained out never gets rescheduled.
For us it had been almost eight years. Before you start freaking out, don’t worry, it hadn’t been eight years since I hugged my wife Sarah. We’ve had two other kids since our first, so do the math. And the last several years in particular, we’ve made an effort to squeeze in date nights when we could or get away during the day for a few hours while the kids were at grandma’s, but we haven’t been away from the kids for a night—and certainly not two or more—for a very long time. We kept saying we should or wouldn’t that be awesome if, and that started to turn into maybe for our tenth anniversary. It had nothing to do with not loving each other or wanting, but we just didn’t take the time to make the effort that was necessary.
So the beginning of February we made a pact to make it happen, no rain delays. We picked a date, cleared it with grandma a month in advance, and booked the place. I secretly prayed that the kids wouldn’t get sick or that grandma wouldn’t have something come up, and low and behold, Friday, March 1, 2:00 p.m., we were on the road. Just the two of us, headed for Costanoa.
For about the first hour of the car ride we were nervous and worried about how the kids would do. But that gradually faded as reality set in and then…we were free. We talked and laughed, played the music loud and stopped when we had to pee. We reveled in the lack of needs beyond our own and arrived along the coast just after sunset.
The weekend was perfect. We loved our tent bungalow that looked out onto a beautiful coastal valley. The nights were cold but we enjoyed the hot tub and friendly conversation with other guests, bragging about how this was our first weekend away since having three kids (and trying not to be offended when people looked surprised).
We lounged. The thing you miss the most once you have kids is sleeping in and having a peaceful meal, and we got both in abundance. A hike up to a lookout then down to a private beach was the perfect way to spend the first full day, followed by more lounging in our cozy bungalow. At sunset we grabbed some coffee and headed up the coast, admiring the light house along the way, parking at a beach to watch the fog roll in over the massive waves breaking on the rocks beyond the shore. When night fell we headed up the road to Pescadero for dinner at Duarte’s and visited with old friends who just happend to be there. Pescadero’s like that, an almost timeless bubble where you’re as likely to run into Neil Young as you are a friend from 8 years ago.
As the hour got later and we soaked in the hot tub for the second night, Sarah and I talked about how we were both fighting off thoughts beyond the moment, to the next day when we would pack it up and return to our “real life.” We were both happy and content with just a hint of anxiety. We missed our beautiful, shining girls and it was good.
Our return trek on Sunday was delayed slightly by a quick meeting with another friend at Whale City in Davenport, but once we got rolling, the ride was quiet. I thought about how relaxing our trip was, all the beautiful scenery and nature we enjoyed, and most of all how much I still loved this lady next to me in the car. After 8 years with kids and more than 10 years together, we still knew how to have fun and enjoy the things that brought us together.
There will always be the joys and frustrations of having three kids. Random hugs and kind words throughout the day are great and date nights are crucial. But having that weekend away with Sarah taught me how important it was for us to get away from the day-to-day for an extended amount of time and just enjoy each other. Sarah always reminds me it’s what got us here, and I’m convinced it’s what’s going to not only keep it all together, but make our life as full as it can be.
Why Hello, 2012
We’re starting fresh. Not just this month, in this new year, but every day. Every day we start fresh and what I’ve been noticing is that even multiple times a day I remind myself to start fresh. Or at least I try. Sarah and I have been steering our family on a new journey and really trying to be in the moment is one of the main focuses.
With this new journey came a slightly new kind of holiday this past Christmas where we tried to focus on what was best for our family, the family we have control over, and I think we did a pretty good job. In the past we’ve worried and stressed over trying to make everyone else happy and squeeze our own wants in there somewhere too. It was never quite right, and even though this past Christmas wasn’t perfect (what is?), we were definitely on the right track and look forward to continuing the creation of a peaceful tradition for ourselves and the girls.
This month we made our last payment for all the medical bills from Aliya’s birth, which was pretty amazing to say the least. 18 months, a chunk of change, mounds of paperwork, several appeals, many hours on the phone, and a few miracles later, we can finally move out from under that burden. Fittingly, we also traveled back to UCSF for her evaluation for the birth asphyxia study she’s in. After meeting with the neurologist and psychologist and performing a round of tests for each, they determined she’s not only on par with “the norm”, but may even been advanced for her age. We knew this, but still, it’s always good to hear it from the professionals. We made the trip a mini vacation at the end of our winter break, and it was fun staying in Japan Town, going to sushi for Sarah’s birthday, showing the girls around a little, and enjoying all the fun Japanese designs, art, trinkets, and most of all, fresh mochi with azuki bean! On the way back to Fresno, we spent a little time catching up with our good friends from the old hood in Richmond. Two nights in one hotel room with the five us, and an emotional visit back to the hospital, was certainly enough to challenge our sanity, but it was still a great way to end our winter break. It never felt better to return back home though, with many rooms for us all to seek refuge in.
And today we returned to The Routine. I to virtual piles of work, Keana to school, Sarah to putting the house (and our life) back together (and entertaining Maia and Aliya), Maia to play without her big sister, and Aliya, well, nothing really phases her. She just kept on doing what she did all break: climbing on the table, redistributing objects all over the house, snuggling and chasing kitties, playing, asking “what’s that?”, and just generally being the cutest damn Booshki alive.
11 weeks
What better time for a blog update than a hot, lazy afternoon off? We spent the morning acquiring sand (350lbs of it) and building the new sandbox Sarah bought a couple days ago. The girls had been really into digging in the dirt, and we have some relatively wasted space under the redwood, so we thought why not? As with everything, it took longer to build and fill than we thought it would, but it’s great and I can already tell it’s going to be a nice addition to our backyard.
Tomorrow we’ll be spending our first 4th of July in Fresno and will have been here 11 weeks. I can’t really believe it’s been that long, but at the same time that’s not very long at all. I must say I haven’t had any regrets about our move. I am still adjusting to the weather of course- a week of 100 degrees or more isn’t even easy for the natives- and the people are different here, not necessarily in a bad way, but different. Everyone actually seems more friendly and down-to-earth though, making eye contact and saying “hi” in public. Imagine that. The absence of gun fire and sirens is pretty damn nice too.
I think part of what’s made the time fly is how busy we’ve been. Some of the big events I haven’t detailed yet are as follows:
June 6-7:
We headed to Uncle Vic and Aunt Kristie’s in Orangevale for what I’m calling Peterson Clambake 2009.5. Everyone’s so busy on the Peterson side of my family that we usually only see each other once a year, around Christmas, which I think everyone would agree just isn’t enough. So Mom and Sam flew out from Texas and drove up with Peter, Grandma and Grandpa headed up from Los Altos, Aunt Janet bumped over from Folsom, and of course we drove from Fresno. The drive wasn’t bad and when we arrived we were happily greeted by cousins McKenna, Cassidy, and Riley. Keana and Maia were SO excited as they absolutely adore those girls. Uncle Vic and Aunt Kristie have a great house that’s kind of like an amusement park to us. Swimming pool, huge trampoline, chickens, massive garden, play set with swings and a slide, horse shoe pits, and a fire pit. How could we not have fun, right? So we stayed the night on Saturday and Keana had her first sleep-over of sorts, sleeping with her cousins in a studio with assistance throughout the night from now sophomore in high school cousin McKenna. On Sunday we went to this great, private park near their house, came back for lunch and had to the hit the road. But the fun wasn’t over then…
June 7-9:
Mom, Sam, and Peter caravanned with us back to Fresno so they could see our new place and hang out a little before heading back to Texas. Everyone was pretty fried, so we basically relaxed, hung out, bbq’d, and on their last day, Tuesday, we went to the Fresno zoo. It was my first time there and I was pretty impressed. There were these crazy birds that sort of looked like big cranes that were guarding some eggs, and when Peter stepped up on the curb to see them better, they freaked out. One tossed it’s head back and made the loudest sound you’ve ever heard and just about scared us to death. Poor little Maia was especially surprised and for the the entire visit kept saying, “Bird, bird.” in a low, concerned voice, eyes wide, sort of in shock. She still talks about it sometimes. Pretty entertaining. After the zoo we headed to the Tower District for lunch and then had our tear-filled goodbyes as Mom, Sam, and Peter headed back to the Bay Area.
June 21:
Father’s Day. Ahhhh, a glorious day indeed. Maybe not as glorious as Mother’s Day in this world, but a day I do look forward to. On this day we headed to the mountains, Shaver Lake to be exact. We got sandwiches on the way out of town and had a nice picnic by the lake, putting out feet in and hanging out on the granite.
June 26-28:
Iana came up to visit for the weekend and it was fun to see her and the every-growing baby inside her. Ryan’s studying for the bar exam at the end of July, so he had to stay in Long Beach. On that Saturday we headed up to Robert and Cindy’s new place just outside North Fork which was pretty cool. It’s a big house with an amazing view of the mountains and Willow Creek nearby. Robert cooked up some trout he had caught and tri-tip and we put it in tacos for a late lunch. Then headed down to the creek to cool off. There were some small snakes and turtles in the water, so that was pretty cool. Pretty much a little person’s paradise.
So that brings us back to now. It’s 98 degrees outside, creeping up to 104, and I have the day off. Keana’s watching Peter Pan, Maia’s sleeping, and now I hear Sarah digging up a snack. We have air conditioning. We have a sandbox. We have PBR in the fridge and stuff for homemade mac ‘n’ cheese for dinner tonight. Life is good. Life is busy. But life is good.
Happy 4th Everyone.