I’ve got this great mix in iTunes that I call my “late night soul” that has everything from Marvin Gaye, to The Isley Brothers, to Michael Jackson, to The Roots. I like to put this on when I’m hanging out at home by myself or staying up way too late working on web stuff while Sarah and Keana sleep. It has a tendency to make me think about what’s going on, what’s happened recently, and stuff that happened years ago. I know, “uh oh” right? Don’t worry, it’s not late enough for me start waxing too prolific here, but I be alone and it’s time to put some stuff down here about what’s been happening in our life lately, especially with regard to family visits.

My mom just turned 50. For some reason that sounds really old, but at the same time it doesn’t seem old at all. What’s hard to believe is that she has two kids, 28 and 26, and a grandkid already. Not bad at all huh? I told my mom that it was great she had us when she was young because it gave us more time to get our shit together before she needs us to start taking care of her. So last Friday, 10/6, we congregated in the city at this fabulous restaurant called Rubicon. It was Mom, her husband Sam, my brother Peter and his girlfriend Bryn, Sarah and myself. We decided to let Keana sleep this one out while Tia Iana watched her. Afterall, whenever Keana comes along she’s really the center of attention and it was Mom’s night to shine. We had a blast. Really great food, lots of good stories and tons of laughter. This was the sort of place too that made you feel like laugh-out-loud-hilarious wasn’t quite legal. We, of course, didn’t give that feeling much thought and just kept on having good conversation and lots of laughs.

Then, on Saturday, my dad, his wife Susan, and their girls Grace and Lily were out here from Denver for a wedding. They came by on Saturday and we bbq’d some burgers and all hung out. It was the first time Grace had met Keana. She was on a band trip to Hawaii when Dad, Susan and Lily came out when Keana was born. We had a good time and it’s fun to see the girls growing up. Grace is a junior in high school and is starting to think about colleges and future academic plans, and Lily is a freshman just getting into the whole high school experience. Truthfully, we don’t really know Grace and Lily that well but certainly wouldn’t mind getting to know them better. Both Sarah and I have half-siblings, but Sarah grew up with her little brother Michael and they’re pretty close. Grace and Lily on the other hand grew up in Colorado totally separate from my brother and I, so we’re not that close. At the same time though they still feel like family, and because we share the same dad I can see part of myself in them which kind of weirds me out. I often think that family isn’t who’s related by blood, but who you spend the most time with. And while I still think this is true to a degree, I can really see that there is some kind of weird cosmic bond through genetics. It’s also strange to see my dad being a dad to these girls while I’m just beginning to be a dad myself. When you’re a kid you watch movies and see other families and have all these notions of what life will be like when you “grow up” and have kids of your own. Let me tell you, my life has not panned out at all like I thought it would…and it’s awesome.

And tonight I’m sitting here alone because Sarah’s mom Jennie came out from Fresno to spend time with Iana for her birthday. Jennie wanted to spend time with Sarah and Keana too so they came over and brought 2 racks of ribs, cornbread and greens. We had a great dinner and then they went to Albany Sauna for some mother-daughter time. We’ll probably have breakfast with Iana and Jennie tomorrow too.

As you can see, we’ve been having lots of family time lately. Yes, it’s exhausting, I’m not gonna lie. But I think relationships are some of the only things in life worth working for, and I think it’s important for Sarah and I to keep these relationships strong to set a good example for Keana when she’s old enough to maintain her own relationships.