Sarah had been having contractions, even strong contractions, on and off for a couple weeks, so when they returned around 5 p.m. on Saturday, November 24, I wasn’t particularly excited or alarmed. Our due date was November 28 but for whatever reason this didn’t feel like “it”. Sarah’s sister Iana had just flown up from San Diego the morning before so she would be in town when baby did actually decide to come. As we were finishing up preparing dinner Sarah began breathing deliberately to ride each contraction out and though the rest of us paused occasionally to observe, we went about our business. That’s the time of day Keana needs the most attention anyway and she was particularly excited to be having dinner with her Tia whom she hadn’t seen in weeks. It’s amazing how much attention a little Keana can gather. Even a laboring Mama on the brink of birth wasn’t gaining quite as much attention…yet.

We finished up dinner and put Keana to bed a little after 8 p.m. and the contractions were still happening, fairly strong, at regular intervals. At this point I still thought this was just “a drill”—practice for the real thing. With Keana we were so anxious, getting ourselves excited and worked up over every contraction. That went on for weeks and by the time Keana really was coming, we had already been awake for two nights and were exhausted. So this time around we knew we would do things differently. We were going to just relax and go with the flow and we’ d know when it was time to get spun up. In this spirit, Sarah decided to have a beer and see if they would stop. Earlier that day, just in case, I tested our video camera and found that the camera thought there was a lens cap on even when there wasn’t. There was no picture, just a black screen. I had called our friends down the street and Jay was going to let me borrow theirs—just in case. As Sarah had her beer and visited with Iana, I headed out to get the replacement camera and pick up some movies to help take our minds off the contractions. After all, they were going to stop pretty soon anyway, but while they were happening we needed a distraction to help us relax.

Jay met me out in front of his house and he showed me briefly how to use the camera. His wife Caroline was pregnant with their second too, so we filled each other in our current situations. I explained to him that Sarah was having contractions as we spoke and something along the lines that I didn’t think tonight was the night and they’d probably go away. I thanked him for the camera and headed to Blockbuster for the movies. I picked up the fine cinematic art pieces Shrek 3 and Knocked Up (I thought it was very appropriate as well).

When I got home Sarah had just finished her beer and the contractions had stopped. She said, “Well, maybe that beer did the trick!” and we put Shrek on. The movie hadn’t even started and the contractions returned, just as strong as before. Eventually they were too strong to focus on the movie and Iana headed off to bed, downstairs with Keana. It was around 10 p.m. I think and it was very apparent that these contractions were much stronger than previous ones. Sarah was groaning fairly loud and her face had the familiar contorting of a woman in serious labor. To be honest, even at this point, I really didn’t believe that we would be meeting our new family member soon. I put on some classical music and began to follow her around the house as she paced between contractions, supporting her when they came and trying to remain calm and breathe with her as each wave came and went. Around 11 p.m. she said, “You better start filling that birth tub if we want to use it for this birth!” Again, still in disbelief, I crept downstairs to hook up the hose to the sink in Keana’s bathroom and began filling our birth tub that had been in our living room upstairs for about two weeks.

Now you may be reading this—especially those of you out there who have experience with second births—thinking, “You crazy, clueless man! OF COURSE YOUR WIFE WAS ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH!” And it will make you even crazier when I tell that at midnight, when Sarah told me to call Cindy our midwife, that I still thought we were going through a lot of trouble for a false alarm. Being the dutiful husband I am though, I called Cindy and explained the situation. She asked if I thought she should come now and I said, “Sure, I mean, if it’s not too much trouble,” thinking that she would just have to turn around and head back to Berkeley.

She arrived shortly after and we all exchanged hugs and she observed a few of the contractions Sarah was having and said with a knowing-wisdom-tone in her voice, “Wow, those are some strong contractions aren’t they? You’re doing a wonderful job Sarah.” When I heard that supportive midwife phrase with that particular “midwifey” tone…that’s the point I think it really started to sink in—we were going to have a baby…TONIGHT!

Cindy asked if Sarah wanted her to check how far along she was, warning that it really didn’t hold as much weight with second-time mom’s. Sarah wanted to know what was going on so in between contractions Cindy examined Sarah. She was six centimeters and her cervix was very soft. The surprised look in Cindy’s face was apparent which prepared me slightly for her next statement, “I’m going to call Tenaya [our assisting midwife] and you better wake Keana up now if she wants to see this baby be born.” Well, I wasn’t quite prepared for such quick action, but quickly and nervously said “okay” and ran downstairs to alert Keana and Iana. They were both already awake, wide with excited eyes, and I asked, “Hey Baby Girl, do you want to come upstairs and see your baby brother-sister be born?” She excitedly answered yes and we headed upstairs for the action.

At this point I should backtrack a little and explain that we had been preparing Keana for some time for this moment. We knew we wanted her to be a part of the experience, but it was important for us that she made the decision as informed as a two-years-and-nine-month-old could be. We had been reading a book, Welcome With Love that had been given to us—which she absolutely loved—and had been watching the movie Birth Day. She seemed quite comfortable with all aspects of the birth process even requesting to watch the part about the placenta several times. We had been afraid that maybe childbirth was too much for a little one to handle, but the more we read and learned, and the more we did with Keana showed us that something as amazing and natural as a new life entering the world was definitely something our kid could handle. Sarah and I also took a birth class for second-time home-birthers that bolstered our confidence quite a bit. Of course we also knew that this was all good in theory, but we had to be open to all kinds of possibilities for Keana’s tolerance once the birth was actually happening—and we were about to find out.

I think the phrase “all hell broke loose” is a bit over the top for this point of the story, but it’s close. So let’s just say, at this point, all hell broke loose. The birth tub wasn’t maintaining heat very well so Cindy and Iana were boiling multiple pots of water to heat the 50-gallon tub in our dining space. Sarah had gotten in the tub to take the edge off the now very constant, very strong contractions, and Cindy was also unpacking all the tricks of her trade all over the living room. Keana was at Sarah’s head with a plastic monkey and a Dora The Explorer toothbrush as her support tools, chiming in, “You’re doing a good job getting that baby out mama!” I had gotten in the tub and was doing everything I could to support Sarah, mostly holding my hands on her lower back to help with the pain.

I remember looking around at all that was going on and thinking how strange it was how clear everything was. With Keana’s birth, not only was I a first-timer, but I was sleeping deprived and the process felt painstakingly slow. Keana’s birth heart-tones were also dropping with every contraction towards the end that added to the general feeling of a state of emergency. But here we were, almost three years later, relatively calm, in the middle of the night, things were moving quite a bit quicker. After each contraction Cindy checked the baby’s heart rate and it was maintaining a strong, steady rhythm. Each time I heard that little heartbeat through the Doppler, my own heart burst with pride for Sarah and the amazing job she was doing, and for the strength of that little being that was working her way into our world.

Tenaya showed up soon after Cindy called her and quietly went about supporting Cindy in whatever she needed; taking notes on the chart, setting up equipment, and many other things that I never saw, I’m sure. Keana was either on Iana’s lap petting Sarah’s head and cheering her on, or she was wondering around the room, inquiring about all the new, fun “toys” that Cindy brought. Cindy did an excellent job responding to Keana even as she was taking care of Sarah.

At one point during the labor, while Sarah was in the tub, it seemed that no matter how hard Sarah was pushing, the baby wasn’t moving. Cindy wasn’t sure exactly what was stalling things, but she always assured us that things were going great. After suggesting that a change in position might help, she and Sarah talked about the options and decided to move to the birth stool that she had brought. Throughout the entire process up to this point, Sarah was very present and clear-headed, and at this moment asked for some Rescue Remedy, which is a homeopathic medicine that’s supposed to aid in stressful times. After taking a dose of that, and between contractions, we moved Sarah to the birth stool, wrapping towels around her to keep her warm. Someone also placed a Chux pad on the couch for me to the furniture dry so I could sit behind Sarah to support her. After a couple contractions on the stool, Cindy asked Sarah if it was all right if she broke her water. Sarah agreed and things started to progress, but the baby still wasn’t coming out. Once again we discussed options and decided to move to the bed with Sarah pulling her knees to her head in an effort to open things up for the baby.

It was quickly apparent that this was going to do the trick and it wasn’t long before we started to see the dark, wet hair on the top of Baby’s head. It was also at the point that Sarah really began to scream and when it was too much for Keana, she into the bathroom to play in the sink. Keana had expressed earlier that she wanted to touch the baby’s head as it came out, so we asked her if she still wanted to do this. She took one look and exclaimed, “That’s too messy!” and decided to go back in the bathroom to play. After several more contractions, with Cindy gently helping Sarah to stretch, Baby’s head emerged, mouth open with sputters and a short cry. It was truly amazing. Cindy told me it was time to come catch the baby and I left Sarah’s side to be in place. With the next contraction her shoulders came through and the instant her hands were free, they shot up into the air, towards the ceiling, dramatically embracing the air about her new world. My eyes filled with tears of joy and pride and the room was filled with almost nervous laughter. It’s a magical moment when those present at a birth want to laugh and cry and scream and jump and be respectfully silent for the gravity of the situation all at once. What’s actually released seems to be all those things, each one slightly overlapping the next so what emerges is a stifled laugh, an enormous smile, and tears bursting from the corners of your eyes. Keana proclaimed how cute the little baby was and for a while, our new family member remained halfway in Sarah and halfway in our hands. When she came out she actually corkscrewed so at this point she was facing Sarah, with Sarah, Cindy, and I all holding her. The contractions had subsided a bit and we didn’t know exactly what to do. Even with Cindy’s experience she wasn’t totally sure what to do next. We knew we didn’t want to pull her out but with no contractions to push her out, the solution wasn’t clear. Baby decided for us and kicked her way out, slipping into our hands. Once free we immediately moved her to Sarah’s breast to comfort her and all present stated how perfect, amazing, and beautiful she was.

I would also like to note that until this very moment, we had no idea what the baby’s gender was. But as I passed her up to Sarah I caught a glimpse and was the first to say, “It’s a girl!” a statement that was lost in all the excitement. Secretly though I was happy that on both occasions of our children being born, I was the very first to know.

We’ve come to the point of the story where I can say the rest is history. Cindy and Tenaya went about checking Baby’s heart rate and breathing while tending to Sarah. The placenta was born without much trouble and it was complete and beautiful, and at the time of this story being written, now sits in our freezer for some momentous occasion I’m sure, of which we have no idea about at the moment.

So the short end of it is that on November 25, 2007, at 3:11 a.m., we welcomed Maia Ilani Hokama into the world. She was 6 pounds 13 ounces and was 20 inches long. Along with Sarah, Keana, and I, Tia Iana and Midwives Cindy and Tenaya were present. We couldn’t have asked for a better homebirth and there could be no second baby more beautiful, more strong, or more perfect than our Maia.

Welcome Maia. We love you.